The Best Decision I Have Made.
If I could go back to this time two years ago, I definitely wouldn't. 'Twas a relatively shitty time. Yet even if I did, I would not change a single thing about what happened.
Approximately 730 days 1ago, I was set to leave Northeastern University behind. That first winter in Boston was hard; I felt homesick for high school, sad, confused about how to make friends in such a giant place, alone, and out of touch with myself. Due to freezing temperatures, zero transitional support at Northeastern for us freshmen that had been abroad, my restrictive relationship with food, and--most of all, a personally negative outlook on life, it was a lonely, dark time.
In April 2015, I’d been accepted to the liberal arts college that I thought I wanted to transfer, so so badly, to. I was about to leave the city of Boston and my (very few, yet truly genuine) friends at Northeastern for good.
But I didn't.
To this day, I am not sure if selecting Northeastern University as a senior in high school was the right choice for me, but deciding to stay after a tumultuous freshman winter and spring absolutely has been the best decision I've ever made.
Because I chose to stay, I’ve since been able to build inexplicably valuable relationships, find the most supportive, fem-powered community within my university, run customer service at a kind-of-insane startup, learn to cook healthy foods (and learn to enjoy unwholesome nights out), start this blog, and, for some reason, bake a shit-ton of delicious banana bread with the best friends in the world. And now...I'm pursuing the pipe-dream I had for years - I live in the San Francisco Bay Area, work at a tech company, and get the opportunity to travel and/or hike every weekend.
I definitely don't think I'd be in California right now, and I surely would not have the friendships that I do, if it weren't for the opportunities at Northeastern. I am so grateful I decided to stay; even though it was challenging to embrace the uncomfortable that was being a scared, lonely baby freshman in a giant city school, the work I dedicated to improving my situation has paid off in ways I didn't think were possible. The two years that have gone by since I decided to commit to Northeastern for the rest of my college days have not always been easy, but this is what has made them the most rewarding years of my life so far.
If you, dear friend, are in a situation that you want to improve, I give you all of the power to go for it, in -- as Jen Sincero says, a "hell-bent for glory" style. You've got all the tools you need to make your life exactly the one you want it to be -- you might just not know it yet, or...you might be afraid of taking the leap, out of fear of being outside your zone of familiarity and comfort. .
I say screw it. Go forth, embrace all your fears, and and jump in. For you, maybe this does mean transferring schools or jobs in order to find a better fit. There's absolutely nothing wrong with transferring, even though sometimes there's an annoying, stupid stigma around it. Maybe, for you, it means staying where you are and changing your mindset in order to find extracurriculars that you love, pursue friendships that are right for you, and explore hobbies that are genuinely up your alley. Whatever it may be, I encourage you to focus on what it is you want, even if it scares the hell out of you, and go in the direction of it. Nothing's really a road block (unless we let it be) -- just a road bump. Plus, the fear and discomfort that inevitably lies in trying new things is not something to be avoided, but learned from. This is where the magical, impactful stuff happens.
Remind yourself that nothing fearful or bad lasts forever; if we can get through the hard, low times with a (mostly) upbeat, hopeful attitude, we will be able to handle anything that comes our ways.
This life is a gorgeous, stunningly brilliant, yet totally uncomfortable freaking mess. However....I do not think it would be as meaningful if it were any other way.
I love you always!!! (And I suppose I love Northeastern, too. Well, most of the time 😉 )